This is getting ruddy difficult.

This egg timer represents, in a hopefully light hearted way, how terrified  I am. 

"How many jobs have you applied for now Alice?"

"Do you think that's the right path Alice?"

"Have you thought about this Alice?"

"Alice, we don't want to put pressure on you but.."

Don't worry this isn't an angsty attack on my parents.

Time feels like it's flying by very quickly. Too quickly.. Not suspiciously quickly but just a little too fast. Higher education is nearly over, the 'grown-up' -I hate that term, I've been the mental age of 40 since I was 14- phase of my life is about to properly begin. As you know I do drama, the most stressful degree out there, so I'll be pulling out those grey hairs just in time for Graduation. And what is it all for? 

It's not for a stable job that's for sure, I am terrified of being that graduate who tells everyone she's a waitress but then having to explain over and over and a little too frantically that she's not just a waitress. There is no shame in being one of course, I sell sausage rolls for my living so that's not the issue, the issue is the pressure. The pressure to get it right straight away. The expectancy from old classmates, current classmates, from distant relatives and from your loving family.

                                        Apparently she's stressed too. Doubtful. 

That pressure is the hardest one, the one that hits you the hardest. You don't want to let anyone down least of all the people who support you the most. Also they're the ones buying the graduation dress and without the shiny future I might end up with a salmon colour frock. That really would be the biggest tragedy. 

I hope this post isn't gloomy rather I'd hope that people are able to relate to it. The next few months for those still in education be it GCSE's coming up, A Levels looming or an MDrama to do well in (please god), I wish you all well. 

Buckle up everyone, it's going to be hard but it is 100% going to be worth it. 

A

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I've Found My Calling.

Today it hit me. What I have been waiting for. People say that when you know, you just know and now, I know. I am destined to be a T.V cook/chef.

This should be me. 

I feel stupid for not thinking about it before, it's so obvious. So obvious in fact that I have justified this new career move in 5 steps:

1. I love to cook.
Now I think this is a pretty important step in becoming a T.V chef, hence I have put it at the number 1 spot. Smart thinking I know. In the last 3 years I have developed a new passion for food. By new passion I simply mean that I now care what I put in my stomach. When I first started at university I lived off pasta and ketchup for lunch and dinner for three solid months (worth mentioning that it's not bad as a diet, not healthy and you seem to loss a lot of your taste-buds but you do fit into more size 8's). Next term I stepped it up to chicken kievs and rice (this isn't great for dieting). And finally I changed to just eating sweet potatoes (this isn't great for your bowels). Now I have stepped it up two years later to homemade fish pies, cottage pies, stir fry's, lasagnas, casseroles, curry's, cakes, cupcakes, honeycomb, lemon meringue pies, the divine and I stress 'homemade' list goes on.


2. I do drama.
My degree surely means that I am the perfect candidate. "Sorry, Alice you just smile a bit more when you scoop out the pie mixture". I would nail that smile. In fact forget smiling, I would be able to do any emotion at the drop of a hat. If they needed me to look distressed over a dessert, I'd nail it, if they needed me to then look overwhelmed with an omelet, I'd nail that too. Any look or emotion I could crack out the experience I have from my degree, the ol' LAMDA exams I did (yes I still have the medals) or my experience at NYT (National Youth Theatre. It's a big deal).

I'd 'act' her off the screen.

3. It is my destiny.
I have mentioned before that I am a proud bakers daughter, this surely makes me the perfect candidate. I have the experience, I have the 'know-how' and I have the passion (it's in my blood and all that).

4. I'm fine with OK! magazine tottering round my house.
Privacy is over rated and all that. So, I would let all the magazine's in my house, I'd keep sprucing up the living room so they can feature me again. I'd probably get married a few times so they could keep coming round. Setting my sights high and all.

5. I can wear padded bras.
Nigella is an obvious threat that I'd have, and I would need to match up.. So, I am completely fine at wearing a padded bra, low cut tops and creeping around late at night to have a cheeky lick of yummy food in my underwear/provocative nighties. I will mold myself into her easy peasy, all I need is the money to kit myself out John Lewis and I'll repeat the line "Welcome to Alice's Kitchen' in my lowest. huskiest voice in front of the mirror. Easy.

What a fox.

It is a perfect idea. Plus it's given me a chance to talk about food. Again.
Enjoy your Sunday Lunches!
A

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