This is getting ruddy difficult.

This egg timer represents, in a hopefully light hearted way, how terrified  I am. 

"How many jobs have you applied for now Alice?"

"Do you think that's the right path Alice?"

"Have you thought about this Alice?"

"Alice, we don't want to put pressure on you but.."

Don't worry this isn't an angsty attack on my parents.

Time feels like it's flying by very quickly. Too quickly.. Not suspiciously quickly but just a little too fast. Higher education is nearly over, the 'grown-up' -I hate that term, I've been the mental age of 40 since I was 14- phase of my life is about to properly begin. As you know I do drama, the most stressful degree out there, so I'll be pulling out those grey hairs just in time for Graduation. And what is it all for? 

It's not for a stable job that's for sure, I am terrified of being that graduate who tells everyone she's a waitress but then having to explain over and over and a little too frantically that she's not just a waitress. There is no shame in being one of course, I sell sausage rolls for my living so that's not the issue, the issue is the pressure. The pressure to get it right straight away. The expectancy from old classmates, current classmates, from distant relatives and from your loving family.

                                        Apparently she's stressed too. Doubtful. 

That pressure is the hardest one, the one that hits you the hardest. You don't want to let anyone down least of all the people who support you the most. Also they're the ones buying the graduation dress and without the shiny future I might end up with a salmon colour frock. That really would be the biggest tragedy. 

I hope this post isn't gloomy rather I'd hope that people are able to relate to it. The next few months for those still in education be it GCSE's coming up, A Levels looming or an MDrama to do well in (please god), I wish you all well. 

Buckle up everyone, it's going to be hard but it is 100% going to be worth it. 

A

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STEADY ON

WOAHHHHHHHHHHHH THERE!

Hi again the few blog readers I have and adore (sucking up to your virtual faces can only help) as you will have noticed I have taken a leave of absence over the summer break, I just needed some space....well in truth I couldn’t really be bothered after working, all day, every day, every hour. Not bitter. And for what? Not frivolous spending that is for sure, my charming landlord has made darn sure of that. That however is beside the point, I don't need my finances to calm down, I don't need my social life to calm down either (not that it's ever that 'crazy').

No, I need university to slow the hell down. Now. Please just stop moving.

I am now in my fourth year, my ‘Masters’ year as I love telling people, officially it's not a proper Master's (10% SHORT OF IT, THAT’S ALL) but what the hell it's still a 'M' on my graduation certificate. I have had now 3 lessons so far and my head is ready to explode. No amount of tea guzzling or biscuit scoffing can save me. I am officially, definitely, one hundred percent crapping my pants.

When the hell did all this work decide to creep up on me and why did it choose to do that so quickly! I haven’t had time to watch all the episodes I’ve missed of ‘The Great British Bake Off’, I haven’t flirted with nearly enough fresher’s: “22 isn’t that much older than you, I promise”. And I haven’t been able to get cracking on my ‘Pasta 2 Go’ bags, which surely imply I’m well into student living which normally happens around week 5. *sigh*.

No. Lesson 4, here we go and hold onto your hats.

Hope everyone else is grasping on a little better than I am, if not I’m on the third floor of the library, weeping, come find me and we'll grieve together.  

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